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How to Break Up with Someone

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Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and some folks have decided that they’re just not fit for the relationship life. Well, look no further! Here are some tips to get rid of those pesky girlfriends and boyfriends with ease.

  1. Public Breakup – This breakup is about the shame. Just like people do public proposals or prom-posals, you could do a public breakup so that they get the message after you’ve broken up with them through text about a bazillion times.
  2. “Sorry, I didn’t see your messages” – This one is a little less cruel. Is your girlfriend/boyfriend a clingy person? Do they text you all of the time or are they connected to their phone? Well, this breakup will be sure to do the trick. First, break up with them through text. Just a simple “We’re through” will do. Next, ignore all text messages they send you and wait for them to come see you in person. Last, once they walk up to you to talk to you, pick up your phone and act like you’re doing something with it so when they ask if you “got my text”, you can say, “sorry, I can’t find my phone”.
  3. The Best for Last – Be brave. Just sit them down face to face and tell them how you feel. “It’s not you, it’s me. My feelings have changed and I don’t think I’m looking for a relationship right now…” Blah, blah, blah.
  4. For the Really Daring – Don’t break up. Stay together, get married, and have children, you silly goons! Because, maybe, you’re in love with each other.
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1 Comment

One Response to “How to Break Up with Someone”

  1. shaggy on May 3rd, 2016 1:18 pm

    *have her make you a sandwich*
    *eat the sandwich*
    you: i want you to be like this sandwich

    ……..gone.

    [Reply]

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